Best Man Speech | Tips on how to write one

Listen up all Best Mans out there, i will tell you essentially what you need to include and what not to include when writing a best man speech. You do not want to fuck it up! correct?

Do include in your best man speech:

1. 'Bring confidence to the speech'- (In your delivery of the speech) you need to relax and confidently tell your speech to the audience. If that means have a one or two beers before it then do it but remember you do not want to be DRUNK! this is important.
2. 'When writing your speech always think of the audience, and how they will recieve it' - Your audience at the wedding reception will usually be aged from as young as 2 years old to 92 years old. You need to take into account this broad audience range. This is essential, make no mistake.
3. 'Ensure it flows smoothly' - Make sure that when you read your speech back to yourself or to a close friend or family member that it is understandable. Ensure that the timeline and events you describe can be followed easily.
4. 'Be nice'- Acknowledge how beautiful the bride AND groom is and how much time it took the mother of the bride and groom to prepare for it all.
5. 'Be Sensitive'- It does not hurt to show your emotional side in your speech just a little bit! DO not cry, or try to make everybody cry. The reason why i say 'be sensitive' is that empathy at a celebration like a wedding is acceptable and it won't hurt your chances with the bridesmaids either.
6. ' Be Memorable' - You do want to tell a memorable story that everybody will like and hopefully find a little bit funny, and of course remember. Some hints to get you started might be how the groom first met the bride or if that is not a memorable and nice/funny then choose another.
7. 'Be Funny'- ensure that your audience (aged 2-92) should find it funny.

Don't include in your best man speech:

1. Talk about Ex girlfriends/divorces or past relationships of the groom or bride.
2. Get involved in family disputes or arguements that may have been discussed before or during the wedding.
3. Who payed for the wedding or contributed most towards the wedding.
4. Insulting or offending remarks about any person at the wedding including the Groom. - Always think if you tell a possible offending joke about the groom will the overall audience find it funny or not? that will guide your decision to include or exclude the joke in your speech.
5. Information about any part of the Bucks night. NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW THIS AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION.
6. Any negative comments of the bride and grooms future together.- This is a wedding and a celebration of a union.
7. Personal marital stories or personal relationship problems or any negative story about marriage or relationships. This is common sense!